Birth in the Know

The Time I dropped my Baby Son: A “Bad” Parenting Moment

James, my second born, was 5 weeks old. I switched his position in the sling (standing on grass, luckily), and he slithered through to the ground. He was crying and definitely stunned, but otherwise okay.

I was not okay. I felt like an idiot and the worst parent in the world.  It took me a while to get over it. I beat myself up, and finally, let it go. There were other incidents of what you might call bad parenting. Every parent has these moments.

By this time, I had been a postpartum doula and a postpartum doula trainer for about 6 years and felt doubly ashamed that I would do such a thing.

I’m happy to report that my son is alive and well at 23 years old, with his own son now!!
Parenting is filled with lessons, and blessings. And, the guilt can creep in when you accidentally drop your baby, as I did. There is good news!!

Babies and kids are pretty resilient. As a parent, we want to do everything right. There is no instruction booklet, blueprint, or manual of any kind. If you show love to your kids they will know, no matter what. Trust your instincts. And, forgive yourself for what you think you might have done wrong.

Years after this incident, someone told me that guilt is a wasted emotion. Suddenly, something clicked in my brain. It always made me feel bad when I relived many of my bad parenting moments.  Or, what I considered bad. Instead of feeling guilty, I realized I could feel grateful that nothing worse happened. I also realized that I can think about other things besides how I screwed up as a parent. And, I could teach others about what I learned.

How about recognizing yourself for everything you are doing right as a parent?

Accept your faults, with your amazing capabilities, and overflowing love for your children.

Seriously, being a parent is like nothing else you will ever experience. Find the joy and the blessings, rather than the sorrow, and the frustrations. Be the best you can be with what you know. Learn and grow.

You might want to consider sitting down when changing your baby’s position in the sling!!

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