Motherhood is not a one size fits all. Looks can be deceiving. This picture would cause many to become alarmed. How can anybody allow their toddler to drink beer?
The boy in the picture is my son James. The bottle was empty, and I thought it was funny when James picked it up. It was a moment at a family gathering. If you don’t know me, and you don’t know the circumstances, you are likely to have a different interpretation than if you were at the party.
Motherhood is so many things. With social media and pictures telling stories, anybody can make up anything. You can instantly feel like a failure or feel less than when you pull up all those perfect photos on Instagram. You can also judge others immediately by what you see.
When you become a mother, it isn’t as if you automatically know how to do everything, or be exactly what your son or daughter needs every minute. You’ve had time to bond and prepare for childbirth unless you have adopted your baby. (another blog topic entirely)
Can you truly prepare for motherhood? Is there a book, a class, or a website that will teach you all there is to know about mothering?
Mothering is so much about reaching inside to the depths of your being, to your soul.
It’s about trusting your own guidance system and being present. It is intuitive.
It doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help. It does take a village, and you deserve pampering and support. Postpartum doulas are a great addition to your support team, as mothering the mother is what they do. If your own mother is not available or you don’t want her around for some reason, then hiring a postpartum doula is a great idea.
Remember that you are figuring things out, and trying on a new role. Being a mother is a lifelong journey, and you will discover your own version of motherhood. Some mothers stay home for years with their children, some mothers go to work six weeks after giving birth, and some mothers work from home. There are single mothers, and married mothers of all shapes, sizes, sexual orientations, and cultures.
Then there are some mothers that think it’s funny when their toddler picks up the beer and tries to drink it!
Finding the humor and the joy in the sometimes roller coaster ride of motherhood is one thing you can do to minimize the stress and anxiety that can accompany the sleepless nights and the fear of screwing up. Unconditional love is not something you can fail at.
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